Relationships:

• • TwoOfUs.org 

  • National Healthy Marriage Resource Center - link 

  • The Marriage Minute is an email newsletter from The Gottman Institute.  

  • #FOMO: How Social Media Affects our Social Lives and Self-Images from One Mind PsyberGuide's blog. 

Self-Quizzes

• • Mojo Upgrade – Interactive Sex Questionnaire for Couples

  • The 5 Love Languages Quiz

  • Attachment Style Quiz from The Attachment Project

Articles

• How to Set Boundaries with Yourself. Psychology Today (Jan. 1, 2023).  

• What to Expect From Couples Therapy. Lifehacker.com. (June 10, 2013).  

• When to Seek Help: 6 Signs a Relationship Is Unhealthy. Psychology Today. (June 1, 2022).   

• The Four Horsemen: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, and Stonewalling. From the Gottman Institute. * See below for a 2-min video on The 4 Horsemen. *

• How to Make Relationship Happiness Last: Reappraising conflict from a third-party perspective may preserve happiness. Psychology Today (Sept. 22, 2022).  

• When Family Estrangement Can Be the Healthiest Choice... and research on the best way to communicate it. Psychology Today. (Aug. 29, 2022). 

• A.D.H.D. Can Strain Relationships. Here’s How Couples Cope: The symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder can push couples to their breaking point, but there is hope for those willing to seek help. The New York Times (Feb. 18, 2022).   

• 4 Anxious Attachment Strategies That Sabotage Intimate Relationships on KyleBenson.net.  

• Why Some of Us Overlook Red Flags in Toxic Relationships. Psychology Today (Jan. 2, 2023).  

Attunement

See more on Attunement in the General Resources section

• Why Attunement Is Essential In Relationships & How To Practice It. Mind Body Green Relationships. (June 21, 2021). 

• The Mirroring Effect: How To Own Your Own Emotions And Create Lasting Intimacy by Daniel Dowling on The Good Men Project. 

• Finding Emotional Connection/Attunement from All Emotional Matters.

• How Emotional Attunement Can Transform Your Relationships from EmotionalEnhancement (Oct. 14, 2018).

Intimacy & Sexuality

• When I Get That Boring Feeling: Sex as Escape from Boredom by Andrew Moynihan in Inquisitive Mind (Feb. 2021).   

• Modern Love: What Sleeping with Married Men Taught me about Infidelity. The New York Times (Apr. 6, 2018). 

• Sexuality and Aging (Mount Sinai School of Medicine´s Geriatrics, Palliative Care & Interprofessional Teamwork Curriculum).  

• One Phrase that Kills Women’s Sexual Desire (and Other Mistakes Couples Make that Lead to Little or No Sex). The Huffington Post (Nov. 2017).  

• 3 Reasons Stress is Affecting Your Sex Drive and What to Do About It from The Gottman Institute.   

Podcasts

• The Modern Love Podcast from The New York Times. --> It has been turned into a book and TV series! 

• Hidden Brain with Shankar Vedantam. Shankar Vedantam uses science and storytelling to reveal the unconscious patterns that drive human behavior, shape our choices and direct our relationships.  

Relationships 2.0: When Did Marriage Become So Hard? (Nov. 21, 2022).  

No one will deny that marriage is hard. In fact, there's evidence it's getting even harder. This week on the show, we revisit a favorite episode from 2018 about the history of marriage and how it has evolved over time. We'll talk with historian Stephanie Coontz and psychologist Eli Finkel, and explore ways we can improve our love lives — including by asking less of our partners.   

• Esther Perel (a top thought leader on relationships) counsels real couples on Where Should We Begin? - Apple | Spotify . Episode: I Don't Mean To Be Mean, But... (Dec. 23, 2021) - Apple 

• Relationships and How to Make Them Work. Psyched Up of the NYS Psychological Association. (Jan. 18, 2007).  

• Boundary Setting. DBT and Me. (2022).  

• The Dr. Psych Mom Show - Spotify | Apple Podcast about marriage, sex, relationships, juggling it all.  

Videos

• 2.5-min video of the Gottmans' "The Four Horsemen" (that lead to the end of a relationship)

• Esther Perel's TED Talks:  

  • • The secret to desire in a long-term relationship (2013). 

In long-term relationships, we often expect our beloved to be both best friend and erotic partner. But as Esther Perel argues, good and committed sex draws on two conflicting needs: our need for security and our need for surprise. So how do you sustain desire? With wit and eloquence, Perel lets us in on the mystery of erotic intelligence. 

• • • Rethinking infidelity ... a talk for anyone who has ever loved (2015). 

Infidelity is the ultimate betrayal. But does it have to be? Relationship therapist Esther Perel examines why people cheat, and unpacks why affairs are so traumatic: because they threaten our emotional security. In infidelity, she sees something unexpected — an expression of longing and loss. A must-watch for anyone who has ever cheated or been cheated on, or who simply wants a new framework for understanding relationships. 

• The Growth Marriage. "An Introduction To Anxious Attachment With Kyle Benson" of the Gottman Love Lab. 

Recommended Books

• Levine, A. & Heller, R. (2012). Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find - and Keep Love (January 5, 2012) - Amazon

• Gottman, J. & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. - Amazon link 

• Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. - Amazon Link 

• Nedra Glover Tawwab:  

  • • Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A guide to reclaiming yourself (March 16, 2021), TarcherPerigee. - Amazon  | Author's Instagram  

    • Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships (Feb. 28, 2023), TarcherPerigee. 

5 Key Ideas (Audio by author) | Amazon Link | Key Tips in The New York Times (March 8, 2023). 

• Kerner, I. (2004). She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman. - Amazon Link 

• Behrendt, G. & Ruotola-Behrendt, A. (2005). It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Break-Up Buddy. - Amazon  

• Gottlieb, Lori. (2010). Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough. - Amazon 

• Nagoski, E. (2015). Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life. - Amazon 

• The ADHD Effect on Marriage (2010). by Melissa Orlov. ADHDMarriage.com 

• ADHD & Us: A Couple's Guide to Loving and Living With Adult ADHD (November 17, 2020) by Anita Robertson, LCSW. - Amazon 

Open Relationships

• Polyamory UK - UK-based website with resources, articles, books, etc.

• MultiAmory - Website with a podcast, book, coaching, workbook, and more.

Podcasts:

• Polyamory Weekly - Spotify | Apple

• MultiAmory (see above for general website & other resources) - episode on "Polyamory: The Most Common Questions."